An Unofficial Study: What A Girl's Nails Really Means

An Unofficial Study: What A Girl's Nails Really Means

Filed under: 
Hair & Make-up

Whether or not this following assumption plays into this whole 'dumb-ass stereotypes about what makes a woman a lesbian' is irrelevantI mean, stating that a woman with nails isn't a lesbian is just well, ridiculous, but having killer acrylic claws pounded finger deep inside of you... that's  no joke.

A woman's nails aren't only helpful cues when eliminating hopefuls at a bar, but they also give you an unexpected look at one's personality. Here is my take on Jenna Marble's 'What a girl's nails means' (video below).

Naked Nails:

bare

Either you work with food or you're just too busy to give a shit.

Short Nails:

short

You're a lesbian (kidding). But seriously, you lack patience and/or get easily excited over nothing

Red Nails:

red

You're a prostitute, vampire, a classy betch or just a typical mall mom that has an 8 to 5 job.

WTF Nails:

Chipped, Stained, you name it.

emotions

You're probably a drag queen who constantly stays up dyeing wigs and embroiderering stage bras.

Round Nails:

round

You're either excessively interested in the opposite sex or a gold digger.

Stiletto Nails:

nail

You're a pretty princess whose haters ain't shit and you happen to enjoy really rough sex (your boyfriend can endure back rips).

French Manicure:

french

You're boring and have no conception of what is nice, nor do you care. 

Neon Nails:

neon

You're probably an attention-seeking follower who stands out only in the dark and will shortly be checking into rehab.

Nail Art:

art

art

You're incredibly talented and getting your Instagram double tapped gives you some sort of euphoric orgasm.

Black Nails:

 You chain smoke, don't mind getting a bit dirty, oh, and you're kinky as fuck.

Too long nails:

contacts

You're unemployed, snort a lot of coke, don't own pants and text at the speed of nothing.

Seasonal Nails:

seasonal

You're an alcoholic and you find pleasure in wasting money on 'good for a week' bullshit.

Cover Image

Share this article

Comments

Content Stream

EVERY SUNDAY. We feature the best underground tracks & remixes, and most of them are up for free download. We prioritize Canadian producers and acts but it is not exclusive. Every Sunday, we'll round-up all of our favourite remixes and tracks we've received through submissions and lay them out...
When you stumble upon gold, you feel it right away. This is what happened when I discovered AMISTAD , a band based out of a small town in British Columbia. I kind of wish I had heard of them sooner, but glad that it was the video for their single "Darkerside" which got on my radar. The 5-piece band...
Produkt is a Hip Hop artist from the Bronx who’s grass-root philosophy in building a fan base has gotten him buzzing. With a strong foundation of hardcore Hip Hop fans who have embraced him for his lyrical ability, the NY emcee is looking to break out to a wider audience with the type of songs that...
A rare Nashville-native, Jessie Early caught our ear. Her debut-EP is a blend of singer-songwriter lyrics, pop sensibilities, and a little 80's nod. Between her original home-made Garage Band beats, her husband Aaron's drum parts, and Larson's fresh perspective, the unique beats and arrangements...
Berlin-based, New Zealand-born Noah Slee is an artist on the rise. Known for his smooth-like-honey vocals and highly relatable narratives, you will definitely dig what he's got to offer. He recently dropped visuals for his single "Rampant Wild Free" , taken from debut EP to your inner hippie &...
Ruben Young is a 25 year old independent pop artist from Calgary. His debut single "Take Her Down" has taken the interwebs by storm, landing a high spot on iTunes Canada's Pop Chart. His soulful voice gives his sound a contemporary twist merging future bass synths and catchy melodies. Not a lot of...
Mad Ones is a local Montreal streetwear brand established back in 2013. They offer a wide-array of apparel for both athletics and streetstyle looks for men and women. They just dropped their most recent lookbook: Disparador , a mini-capsule collection to start off 2017 with a bang. Camo-style...
Converse is entering the apparel world with a bang. The new Converse Essentials collection, offered for both men and women, consists of today’s apparel must-haves. If you feel like you don't have enough of Converse in your closet, you can also add their tee, crewneck, pull-over hoodie, full-zip...
We've covered what Kid Bassline could do in the past, but this one is next level. Kid Bassline is known to dabble in afro-beat and world-style music, but this, is just unheard of at the moment. Strolling around on the net, he stumbled upon a Montreal tune by Pakouri ft. Ceejay titled "Bataille" and...
J’Nae Morrae is a multi-talended gal with a penchant for producing music, playing the piano and writing infectious pop songs. The Washington, DC based emerging act just released a new tune titled "When The Beat Drops" which we can't get enough of. The urban-influenced pop-club melodies and heavy...
If you're looking to spruce up your everyday gear with a little touch of "wavvy" patches, No April Just Fools has gotchu. They make iron-on patches inspired by random trends to fit perfectly on your plaid shirt, dad-cap or your jeans. It's a modern-take on all the 80s/90s heavy-metal patches trend...
Latre Art + Style is one of those gems you walk by and take a step back to just walk in because your curiosity has been picked on. If you want unique conversational pieces, this place is where you’ll get your fingers on it. Brian Vu founded and designed Latre (pronounced Later) with an...