An Unofficial Study: What A Girl's Nails Really Mean

An Unofficial Study: What A Girl's Nails Really Mean

Whether or not this following assumption plays into this whole 'dumb-ass stereotypes about what makes a woman a lesbian' is irrelevantI mean, stating that a woman with nails isn't a lesbian is just well, ridiculous, but having killer acrylic claws pounded finger deep inside of you... that's  no joke.

A woman's nails aren't only helpful cues when eliminating hopefuls at a bar, but they also give you an unexpected look at one's personality. Here is my take on Jenna Marble's 'What a girl's nails means' (video below).

Naked Nails:

bare

Either you work with food or you're just too busy to give a shit.

Short Nails:

short

You're a lesbian (kidding). But seriously, you lack patience and/or get easily excited over nothing

Red Nails:

red

You're a prostitute, vampire, a classy betch or just a typical mall mom that has an 8 to 5 job.

WTF Nails:

Chipped, Stained, you name it.

emotions

You're probably a drag queen who constantly stays up dyeing wigs and embroiderering stage bras.

Round Nails:

round

You're either excessively interested in the opposite sex or a gold digger.

Stiletto Nails:

nail

You're a pretty princess whose haters ain't shit and you happen to enjoy really rough sex (your boyfriend can endure back rips).

French Manicure:

french

You're boring and have no conception of what is nice, nor do you care. 

Neon Nails:

neon

You're probably an attention-seeking follower who stands out only in the dark and will shortly be checking into rehab.

Nail Art:

art

art

You're incredibly talented and getting your Instagram double tapped gives you some sort of euphoric orgasm.

Black Nails:

 You chain smoke, don't mind getting a bit dirty, oh, and you're kinky as fuck.

Too long nails:

contacts

You're unemployed, snort a lot of coke, don't own pants and text at the speed of nothing.

Seasonal Nails:

seasonal

You're an alcoholic and you find pleasure in wasting money on 'good for a week' bullshit.

Cover Image

Share this article

Comments

Content Stream

You need to get on this. Montreal has a new artist on the scene, and he goes by the name Clyde Forest . This dude got on our radar as soon as we laid eyes and ears on his craft through his instagram profile and his debut single. Immersed in a place that lies between contemporary urban with a rock...
You already know about Jaymie Silk . If you don't, then brush up on your knowledge as he's been on our radar for quite some time now as the new rising star producer and DJ, particularly known in the Montreal vogue scene. He just dropped his latest EP titled Watch Me just in time before his...
Donzelle is a beautiful mix of questionable metaphor rap, deadpan dancers, unrefined costume changes and heavy dirty bass. You might remember her name from back around the neon/electro-rap days, you might just not, and that's okay. She's back with a brand new single and visuals to accompany her...
Young self taught producer, Kultur keeps on climbing the ladder and asserting himself since the release of two EPs and several singles that caught the attention of the interwebs. After a year spent putting flesh on the bones of his universe, he comes back with "OCEAN" , his new single featuring...
iamhill is a force to be reckoned with. This self-made emerging artist is talented in a raw, underground type of way. She took it upon herself to produce, write, record, and perform "Give It a Rest" - A catchy single with few words that will get stuck with you as you play it on repeat. It was...
EVERY WEEK. We feature the best underground tracks & remixes, and most of them are up for free download. We prioritize Canadian producers and acts but it is not exclusive. Every Sunday, we'll round-up all of our favourite remixes and tracks we've received through submissions and lay them out...
Nothing better than some fire beats to warm you up in this damned cold weather. MORRIS just recently dropped a 6-track project titled GOOMBAWAVE on soundcloud. A collection of beats based on those species of sentient mushrooms from Nintendo's Mario franchise. You don't need to listen to it in any...
Birthday Boy & Trish release new single titled “Chance To Go Far” off their upcoming EP titled Joseph , out on January 19th via Bastard Jazz . We recently featured the single “Magic” off the same EP, which they had released to close out 2017 with a bang. Further emphasizing the project 90s R...
This emerging artist has been on our radar for quite some time now. Langston Francis is a young visionary who grew up in the centre of Kensington Market and was heavily influenced by the Toronto music scene. His first single "FCKD IT UP" has been making the rounds of the interweb, especially for...
Watch the video above. Life is a journey of twists and turns, leading us to moments of both true bliss and great despair. In her new video "Prime Time" , Singer-songwriter Liana takes us on an emotional adventure throughout the breathtaking landscapes of Peru – a visual odyssey that reflects a...
"Confessions..." is an on-going column where we invite readers to submit their most outrageous personal stories anonymously for everyone to read. These stories are real, and usually come from people who lead double lives. Due to the nature of the subject matter, all identities are kept anonymous to...
We took Parsons' graduate Panisa Busayanont 's Life Cycle collection to New York City's Central Park. Shoes by Aldo . Photographed by Sami Claire . Follow us on Instagram for your fashion fix.