The Myth of the Strapless Strap-On

The Myth of the Strapless Strap-On

Filed under: 
Sex & Recreation

When I first ventured into the land of lady-on-lady loving I was enamored with the idea of a strapless strap-on. No obnoxious straps. No lost parts. Just yummy direct skin-on-skin contact, mutual penetration and toe curling clitoral friction! What else could a young lesbo dream of?

If you have never seen one of these bad boys, head to a sex shop and give them a look. There are two models that you are likely to find; the Feeldoe and a model by Fun Factory. By inserting and clenching the “the short, curved bulb…into the vagina” Fun Factory says that you will have an “unbeatable sexual experience” completely free of messy straps. If you have ever played with a normal strap-on, you know how difficult it can be; complicated twisted straps make it difficult to get on, clasps suddenly give way moments before orgasm and if your angles aren’t just right that dildo flops around all over the place.

For years, I have dreamt of endless nights of fucking with one of these god-sends. Finally, several penetration-weary partners later, I got my chance! After going heavy on the foreplay and free flowing with lube it was time for the main event.

How dare they call this monstrosity a ‘bulb’! A bulb sounds like the beginnings of a delicate blossom; something tiny and shaped like a sperm. But ohhh no, that is not what it was. Attempting to insert this enormous strangely shaped beach ball into my lady flower felt like I was playing an aggressive game of Tetris with machetes.

Just fuck me alreadyNo pain, no gain- on we go! After thanking the all mighty Sapphic god that my babymaker didn’t rip while getting this thing in, and grateful that my cries of pain hadn’t killed the mood too much, the tapered edge initially kept it comfortably in place while beginning to get our groove on. I must admit that there is nothing more satisfying that playing with this toy. If you are on the receiving end, feeling the tender skin of your lover so close to you and hearing their sighs of her pleasure is incredible. As a giver it is AMAZING! ...for about 30 seconds. With every thrust you get a triple shot of pleasure; the moans of your lover, the contact with your clit and perfect aim right to your g-spot. With that much going on, the moisture level amplifies incredibly… and thus comes the searing pain. Regardless of how hard you try to clench your PVCs, you are going to get dangerously wet and this thing is going to slip out. It hurts going in and boy does it hurts falling out. Worse, noticing that you are slowly losing grasp of this toy as your lover’s cries become sharper and shorter is a tragedy all on its own.

I’ve taken a general poll and it seems that most women I know either gave up on this toy, use it with a harness, or sport a snug fitting pair of underwear to support it. Tragically, I must dispel the myth of the strapless strap-on. Nevertheless, I would strongly recommend you give this toy a try: just with a harness.

Share this article

Comments

Content Stream

Source4prez is a Puerto Rican-American hip-hop artist from Wilkes-Barre, PA. He released his first mixtape Rhyme and Reason on July 15th, 2016. His latest release is the music video for his catchy tune "Records Like This" which you can watch above. The dope video follows the artist around a record...
Pang Attack is a Montreal-based pop/shoegaze band fronted by Alex Hackett. They just released a music video for lead single "Frailty Revisited" which is off their debut full-length North Country Psychic Girls which is due later this year. The music video was d irected by Brendan Ko as well as...
It came to our attention that we should pay attention to Scotland artist Law Holt . She's well known for her work with Young Fathers , more notably this cover she did that mesmerized us. We just couldn't get enough of her latest music video for her song "Love Drive Through" - which is a nu-wave pop...
EVERY SUNDAY. All (or most) of these tracks and remixes are up for grabs from (mostly) Canadian producers and acts. Every Sunday, we'll round-up all of our favourite remixes and tracks to download. We either pick them out from your submissions, or we pick out our faves from the internet. Every...
New Bedford, MA artist KyE Nathaniel took the right step into translating his track titled "Pure Meditation" into a visual trip. The Caleb Sarikey produced single has all the right elements, catchy hook, a melody that will stick with you and possibly get stuck in your mind for quite some time. The...
Canadian singer-songwriter Matthew V is on our radar. We've premiered one of his previous releases and couldn't help sharing his latest video with you. "If I'm Enough" is a single off his upcoming album 'Sounds' which is out this fall. People have been comparing him to a younger Sam Smith, and we...
Kanye West has had a career that dates back to over 10 years now. He's always been the creative one, I remember watching the video for "All Falls Down" and thinking how it stood out, concept-wise, style-wise as well as musically. It wasn't about being ghetto, or portraying a ghetto lifestyle. He...
If you still haven't heard of Gimmemar , you're probably sleeping. The young emerging producer, singer, songwriter and multi-faceted slash talented miss Gimmemar is a force to be reckoned with. Based in Toronto, she caught our attention recently with her single "N$N$" which we raved about. We asked...
Young Toronto-based rapper Erich Mrak has been o n our radar for quite some time now. He's gearing up for the release of his new EP titled Retrospect and we've got first dibs on it today, as we premiere his song "Drowning Out" right here, right now. When asked, Erich explained to us the concept...
EVERY SUNDAY. All (or most) of these tracks and remixes are up for grabs from (mostly) Canadian producers and acts. Every Sunday, we'll round-up all of our favourite remixes and tracks to download. We either pick them out from your submissions, or we pick out our faves from the internet. Every...
Horrorshow are a hip hop duo from Australia. With three studio albums under their belt, they’ve acquired a loyal fanbase in Australia and are ready to conquer the rest of the world. Their latest release is most probably the beginning of their plan to get the rest of us to peep their highly-...
Born and raised in Dubai, UAE, the singer-songwriter Shébani carved out the beginning of her musical career performing across almost every local venue in the city. With her acoustic guitar in one hand and her passion for the arts in the other, she quickly racked up a string of shows juggling...