Things People Do At Music Festivals That Makes You Want to Flip a Table

Things People Do At Music Festivals That Makes You Want to Flip a Table

Things People Do At Music Festivals That Makes You Want to Flip a Table
Filed under: 

Music Festivals: The place where people pay a pretty insane (sometimes insulting) amount of money to go see kick ass bands (depending on your definition) play a set (except if your name is Death Grips, K-Os or Kings of Leon) and basically just have a good time (to a certain extent) with your buddies.

Everyone’s familiar with the definition? Good. Now that we know how festivals work, let’s take a minute to talk about the attendees. You've got some old, some young, some with no regard for personal space and some who've forgotten deodorant. There's some tall as fuck, some drunk as fuck and some who plain don't give a fuck. Unfortunately out of all those people, not everyone knows exactly how to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner so to speak. This is where I come in, to guide the unknowing, the lost sheep in the heard. Take yield of my message with the following guidelines or else next time you're in front of me at Osheaga or any other festival like MURAL, Piknic Electronik, or even NXNE, I might gut punch you.

Don’t Culture Appropriate: 


kendall kylie bindi

It's cool, it's hip, it's trendy, and the hipsters can't get enough. But please know that wearing things like headdresses and bindis when you have no clue what they are actually meant for or have nothing to do with your culture makes you look like a tool. There are other ways to dress up for a festival and other ways to celebrate an ethnicity's customs without dishonoring them. And the flower crowns. I know they don't actually have anything to do with culture appropriation but girls please stop because you're literally all blending into one giant overdone tacky mess and your boyfriends can’t tell you apart.

Don’t Overindulge: 

I know it might seem like a great idea to pop 5 caps of molly and drink all that tequila but please think twice. Festivals are long, the heat can become unbearable and frankly you’re either going to end up groping other questionable characters you’ll later regret or end up spazzing out and missing half the shows cus you’ll be too fascinated by your hands.

Don’t Act Smart: 

It’s very normal to get to a music festival and actually have knowledge on maybe 5 or 6 bands. So please don't be that music critic everyone wants to kick in the face because you feel the need to make a remark on each band before every new set.  Enjoy the show and just stfu.

Don’t Dress Up (But DO Wear Something For Fuck Sake): 

This is Picnik Electronik. NOT the fucking Met Gala. You don't need to get all dolled up or try to win best street style because no one fucking cares. Alternatively, this is not the time to dress so inappropriately that your father's weeping can be heard over the music. Let’s go over a few basic no-no's:


worst dressed ultra fest

.....definitely not.

worst dressed ultra fest 2

knock that shit off.

worst dressed coachella

What the actual fuck tho.

worst dressed ultra fest 3

I can't deal.

worst dressed ultra fest 4

Ok we're done here.

worst dressed ultra fest 5

Don’t Stay Glued to your Phone


Lastly, put your goddamn phone away! Stop tweeting about The Black Keys and maybe actually watch them play? I know how much you want all your friends on social media to experience jealousy and FOMO but it's pretty sucky to spend all that time at Meg Montreal without actually having any recollection of what happened. Also get that selfie stick out of the way or it's going up your bum. 

So hopefully these tips will help some of you out and you'll be able to enjoy the festivities safely and for those that I couldn't get through to, you're in my prayers.

picture sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Share this article


Content Stream

Donzelle is a beautiful mix of questionable metaphor rap, deadpan dancers, unrefined costume changes and heavy dirty bass. You might remember her name from back around the neon/electro-rap days, you might just not, and that's okay. She's back with a brand new single and visuals to accompany her...
Young self taught producer, Kultur keeps on climbing the ladder and asserting himself since the release of two EPs and several singles that caught the attention of the interwebs. After a year spent putting flesh on the bones of his universe, he comes back with "OCEAN" , his new single featuring...
iamhill is a force to be reckoned with. This self-made emerging artist is talented in a raw, underground type of way. She took it upon herself to produce, write, record, and perform "Give It a Rest" - A catchy single with few words that will get stuck with you as you play it on repeat. It was...
EVERY WEEK. We feature the best underground tracks & remixes, and most of them are up for free download. We prioritize Canadian producers and acts but it is not exclusive. Every Sunday, we'll round-up all of our favourite remixes and tracks we've received through submissions and lay them out...
Nothing better than some fire beats to warm you up in this damned cold weather. MORRIS just recently dropped a 6-track project titled GOOMBAWAVE on soundcloud. A collection of beats based on those species of sentient mushrooms from Nintendo's Mario franchise. You don't need to listen to it in any...
Birthday Boy & Trish release new single titled “Chance To Go Far” off their upcoming EP titled Joseph , out on January 19th via Bastard Jazz . We recently featured the single “Magic” off the same EP, which they had released to close out 2017 with a bang. Further emphasizing the project 90s R...
This emerging artist has been on our radar for quite some time now. Langston Francis is a young visionary who grew up in the centre of Kensington Market and was heavily influenced by the Toronto music scene. His first single "FCKD IT UP" has been making the rounds of the interweb, especially for...
Watch the video above. Life is a journey of twists and turns, leading us to moments of both true bliss and great despair. In her new video "Prime Time" , Singer-songwriter Liana takes us on an emotional adventure throughout the breathtaking landscapes of Peru – a visual odyssey that reflects a...
"Confessions..." is an on-going column where we invite readers to submit their most outrageous personal stories anonymously for everyone to read. These stories are real, and usually come from people who lead double lives. Due to the nature of the subject matter, all identities are kept anonymous to...
We took Parsons' graduate Panisa Busayanont 's Life Cycle collection to New York City's Central Park. Shoes by Aldo . Photographed by Sami Claire . Follow us on Instagram for your fashion fix.
The Achromatics : Music to be appreciated by the mind and body. The Achromatics are a nine-person superband creating a new sensation in music - driven by soulful melody, Latin rhythm, and ferocious showmanship. They have been dazzling audiences throughout Ontario and now the rest of Canada and...
Yung Shalack is a 21 year old, young aspiring Canadian hip hop artist from 807, Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada. Producing and performing all the tunes in his own studio, Yung Shalack is a multi-faceted self-taught talented individual that is starting off with a banger. His latest release is his first...