10 Things A Guy Wonders About While Giving Head to a Girl

10 Things A Guy Wonders About While Giving Head to a Girl

Filed under: 
Sex & Recreation

Cunnilingus. Urban Dictionary describes it as “The art of orally making sweet love to a vagina” and “The great American pastime”.

Are they wrong? This sometimes controversial act of oral sex has only become “mainstream” in the past few decades but behind closed doors, men have been eating out, munching the carpet, muff-diving, going down to pleasure town for quite some time. And with great reason! Who doesn't want to rock their significant other’s world with their linguistic talents? (If you answered “me” then you sir, are an asshole.)

Cunnilingus

We had previously reported our findings on what women think of while giving a blowjob and seeing the cup half full, I decided to put my Sherlock Holmes hat on and do a little investigating on the other side of the fence.  I went to the streets (my contact list), gathered data (bothered all my dude friends), and documented my findings (procrastinated at work) on what goes through the mind of your average twenty something North American cunning linguist. 

1. Aesthetics

Pablo Picasso Les Demoiselles

“Is it shaved?”

“I hope it’s clean”

“Is she gonna have a Picasso pussy or is it gonna be shaved?”

“does she have piercings?”

This one goes through the mind of every guy right before the moment of truth. What surprise awaits him as he creeps his way lower and lower? Will there be an intricate design? Or perhaps she’s more of the “bald eagle” fan? One great answer received that sums up the situation nicely was “shaven or not, must conquer”. In conclusion girls, if you’re planning on serving a buffet, make sure you set the table.

2. Their Turn

John Hamm gif

“I wonder if she’s going to blow me”

“Am I getting head after this or what?”

“I should get sex after this…AT LEAST a handjob”

Next on the list is the worried questioning on whether this special party favour of his will be returned or if he’s shit out of luck. Bobby Brown’s Prerogative starts playing in the background as your man is worried he shouldn’t have said “ladies first”. I think it’s safe to say that the answer to this question sometimes lies solely on how well you’re doing your work boys, so tip: keep your head in the game.

3. Your Turn

Shoshanna gif

“Is she enjoying herself?”

“Hope she enjoys it”

Ah, the age old question, the truth of all truths. It’s all fine and dandy to go down without a strategy but if guys, if you're just going to be fooling around and god forbid poke at it then no, no we are not going to be having a good time. It’s pretty easy to tell when something is working and something isn’t so rest assured, you’ll never be in too much doubt. UNLESS….

4. The Big O

When Harry Met Sally gif

“When is she gonna cum?”

“Was that fake?”

The self-doubt sets in as he is analysing the intensity of your moans and starts becoming skeptical of your level of satisfaction. We usually tend to stay polite and not blatantly show a guy our scoreboard when it’s been a rough night, opting instead to give a well scripted award winning presentation. Apparently guys start cluing in after hearing the script one too many times, but if you think about it: whose fault is that?

5. Taste

Supernatural gif

“If it tastes bad, I’m gone”

“What flavour of soap is this? /This is not the flavour of soap.”

“This tastes good”

It’s no surprise this would be on the list since the fact is Taste, along with Touch, are the main senses used during oral sex. Hence your gentleman lover’s taste buds are in full action when he’s vacationing in the land down under; it would be a shame for him to not enjoy his stay.

6. Pain

Peter Griffin gif

“How long do I need to be down here?”

“Fuck my jaw is getting tired”

“my tongue is starting to hurt but I like this”

“my neck hurts”

“I think I ripped the web of my tongue again”

Sometimes things can start to drag on and get tiring. Let's face it, our mouths aren't really used to doing this on the daily. Before you get started guys, make sure you pick a comfortable area to get installed in because you never know how long you'll be on the job. We'd feel pretty bad if you pulled your neck.

7. Food

Michael Fassbender eating

“What should I eat tomorrow?”

Sex can be quite the workout, which can open up an appetite. Guys (ok, girls too) are usually either thinking about sex or food and since they’re already doing the former, it leaves plenty of room to focus on what mom made for supper.

8. The Alphabet Song

Sesame street gif

“Let me do the a,b,c’s”

This one gave me quite the laugh. A universal ditty, known by all, the alphabet song is apparently a go to jingle when a guy doesn't want to fill his head with too much noise.

9. His Random Thoughts

Mark Wahlberg gif

“How far can I stick my tongue in?”

“I wish I could smoke while doing this”

“how many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie pop?”

“I wonder if she gets this a lot”

“should I try the silent duck?”

Let’s face it, guys have A LOT of this going on, 24/7, and it certainly isn't any different when they're all up in your business.

10. Your Random Thoughts

Emma Stone Gif

“What is she thinking of?”

Last but not least on the list, guys are most like wondering what the hell you’re thinking about too, so speak up ladies and guide them through it so you can both take advantage of the situation. 

And while we are on the topic of oral sex, if anyone needed any tips on how to please their man: http://www.ixdaily.com/the-grind/how-give-killer-blowjob 

Photo source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Share this article

Comments

Content Stream

Time to hype yourself up with this beat. SO LOKI is a Vancouver-based duo, they got on our radar first when we posted one of their tracks in our THEFIX column. This time around, we get a new tune titled "HBO" that made us do a double-take. The tune definitely remains in the realm of their sound,...
After releasing his confrontational single “Bitch Go” , acclaimed Toronto-based rapper/songwriter Shan Vincent de Paul is back with a new single, just in time to uplift you and the people around you. "You Better My Life" speaks volumes and sets itself apart from any other subject you are used to...
Pursuing the release of several singles that will form an EP due to the end of this year, Montreal emerging artist LIA got inspired from the movie The Lobster (Yorgos Lanthimos) for her latest track featuring Thomas White . Together, LIA and the video director Malo collaborated on a common theme...
Always looking for that perfect boot that is not oversized or too heavy to trek around? Same. It's getting way colder, and winter is about to lay itself on us. Get rid of your old worn out boots and cop this lightweight and modern aesthetic shoes instead. You're going to instantly dig the latest...
Dave 1 and P-Thugg, better known as the Canadian funk brothers Chromeo , are taking it to the next level. Today they give us a taste of their next musical odyssey with the release of their first song and video in over three years: "Juice" . The tune captures Chromeo's trademark cheeky lyrics and...
This enigmatic artist isn't as mysterious anymore, but still has a lot to show for. Allan Rayman is on tour right now, and just dropped a new track titled "Gun" - This time around we get much more of that rock & roll vibe than the r&b influences we've heard in the past. Still staying true...
Last weekend, I let a stranger brush my hair and stroke my ears with a Q-tip to help manage my anxiety. I was at Whisperlodge , a 90-minute immersive performance slash spa that offers only one kind of treatment: ASMR. Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response is the pleasant tingling feeling in your...
Jimmy Yitty , aka Jimmyfromeastyork is back at it with new visuals. Wrapping up his 5th project within 2 years of hard work and hustle. This time around, it is his debut full-length release titled 33 , which will showcase a bit of a different vibe than what we are already used to. To tease this...
EVERY SUNDAY. We feature the best underground tracks & remixes, and most of them are up for free download. We prioritize Canadian producers and acts but it is not exclusive. Every Sunday, we'll round-up all of our favourite remixes and tracks we've received through submissions and lay them out...
If you haven't heard of Ralph , you're still sleepin' Everyone's buzzin' about this super talented Toronto synth-pop artist. She gives off mad 'girl next door' vibes and drops the utmost feel-good tunes that are impossible to hate. You'll definitely catch the feels for her as soon as you hit play...
Volez Voguez Voyager - Louis Vuitton just hit New York City and features 163-years of the luxury brand’s history, from their first ever monogrammed luggage to their greatest hits ( Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton’s gold and silver duffels, anyone ?). You first walk into a Louis Vuitton metro...
This Montrealer is going to give you chills. Alex Rand has been working on his first solo EP titled Sundial. Also known for being in an art-rock band called LOOK VIBRANT, this multi-talented artist from Montreal does things a bit differently with his solo project: he calls it experimental-pop. We...