Douchebag Of The Week: Peeple vs. 4Chan

Douchebag Of The Week: Peeple vs. 4Chan

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Rants

Last week shockingly had more douchebags to battle it out! I mean, it also had heroes, role models, and charitable people, but this isn’t a Buzzfeed listicle. This is a showdown of heinous human-bidets. Our last winner was a corporate slimeball who jacked up prices for life-saving HIV drugs. Who will this battle’s winner be? Will it be app-making sociopaths or “hilarious” internet bridge trolls?

ROUND ONE

Julia Cordray and Nicole McCullogh

Peeple

These two are the co-founders of the app Peeple, which is Yelp but for people. If you don’t know what Yelp is (bless your heart), it can be described as a website where sane people rate restaurants on their dining experience and insane people take vengeance on a business for some twisted thrill. Now imagine the possibilities with Peeple! You can rate a person on their value and write comments for people to see on a profile. There's no way that this app can be used for good. If you get a positive review, it won’t be sincere. Most people will try to insure that they’ll get compliments back. The bolder assholes will just use the app to vomit negativity over everyone’s profile without fear of consequence. The fictional inventors of Jurassic Park had more foresight than this.

VS.

4Chan

4CHAN

If you don’t know what 4chan is (bless your heart), it can be described as the dregs on the internet. It’s an image-based bulletin board where anyone can comment. 4chan’s content can range from silly memes to the darkest, most offensive things you’ve ever read. 4chan is known for using its collective power as professional trolls. Last week they decided to take advantage of the attention garnered by the latest mass shooting at the Oregon community college by framing people as the shooter.


Round One Winner: 4chan, of course. I mean, trying to frame someone for mass murder is some advanced douchebaggery. If they didn’t have the veil of internet-anonymity, they could be sued for slander. The Peeple ladies could just be delusional and misguided weirdos who only see the potential for goodness in others.



ROUND TWO

Julia Cordray and Nicole McCullogh

Peeple cofounders

People can write insults to anyone who has a comment section on a profile or site. You open yourself up to criticism if you have Instagram, Facebook, or even a pop-culture website (*wink*). The special thing about Peeple is that you don’t make your own profile - someone else does! As long as you’re older than 21 and have a Facebook account, any person who has your phone number can make a profile for you. You can’t take that profile down. If they post something positive, it immediately goes up. If they post something negative, there’s a 48 hour waiting period.
This is where the delusion becomes a huge problem. Anyone who has your number can make a profile of you. A coworker, that person you met once at a party, and even an ex can say whatever they want about you, whether it’s negative or creepily positive.

Imagine that one person you regret giving your number to. Now imagine Peeple being an app that they’d have. Now try not to throw your phone into a dumpster fire.

VS.

4chan

Eggman
4chan tried to blame two previous users for the mass shooting. First they blamed Toby “Eggman” Reynolds, because he had posted a video last Wednesday mentioning he’d be in Seattle if anyone wanted to meet. A post on Wednesday on 4chan  read: “Don’t go to school tomorrow if you are in the northwest.” The connection between the two is slim, especially since Toby Reynolds said that he didn't want to post on the board /r9k/ (where the threat was posted) anymore. Jokes were posted that “Eggman” had finally lost it. News sites released his name as a possibility before investigators confirmed the shooter’s identity. Since the actual shooter committed suicide, Reynolds managed to confirm that he was not the shooter by stating he was, in fact, alive.

Then there’s Shiv Sharma, who went by the name “Plork” on the site. Users spread the rumour that he was the shooter, feeding into the hysterical islamaphobia that’s rampant on the internet by claiming he was the Muslim shooter. Again, Shiv Sharma is alive, and the Oregon shooter was a white Christian male.

Round Two Winner: Julia Cordray and Nicole McCullogh. Nevermind about them not being sociopaths.  


ROUND THREE

Julia Cordray and Nicole McCullogh

Peeple app

After announcing their horrible app, the co-founders found themselves in the middle of a media shitstorm. They received countless tweets criticizing the app. Cordray tweeted angrily at people who criticized her idea. She claimed bullying and disappeared off of social media. In the irony of all ironies, Julia Cordray couldn’t handle the unsolicited criticism of strangers. Wow, who would’ve thought unwanted negative feedback would be so upsetting?


VS.

4chan

Anon

The shooter’s identity was revealed to be a completely different person: Chris Harper Mercer. News outlets have moved on to the confirmed mass-shooter, and forgotten the previous names. Mischief was managed. All 4chan had to do was congratulate itself on the small chaos it caused. 

Round Three Winner: Julia Cordray and Nicole McCullogh! 4chan is just being itself. It isn’t surprising, and any news outlet that falls for such obvious trolling without confirming with real authorities first deserves to be mocked. Meanwhile, Cordray and McCullogh’s hypocrisy is too beautiful to ignore.


WINNER:

Julia Cordray

Julia Cordray and Nicole McCullogh! Narcissism and the comedic properties of karma made this win possible. After proudly announcing their app, they’ve run away from social media and shut down their website (forthepeeple.com comes up as Not Found). They could be re-thinking the app and their warped views human interaction, but their likely waiting out this media storm until the next douchebag grabs our attention. Smart thinking, ladies!

#

If you liked this, you might like reading round 1 of Douchebags Of The Week [CLICK HERE]  

Images: Main, 1,2, 3, 4, 5, 6

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