What To Do When Chicks With Dicks Go Topless
What do we do when chicks with dicks go topless anywhere other than a pride parade or a gay bar? Apparently, we freak the fuck out. But we shouldn't freak the fuck out, which is one of the statements that was made when a Toronto-based transgender artist, named Lexi Sanfino, stripteased down an airplane isle shirtless—bare-breasts and all. She was prompted to do this after a few flight attendants asked her and her friend (also a transgender artist), Nina Arsenault, if they could give them some coveted make-up tips, exclusive to the transgendered community.
“Think about the children!” said the flight attendants while covering up the half-naked Sanfino.
But, what about the children? They'll eventually have to learn that some men want tits and some chicks want dicks, and that not everyone wants to chastity belt up their genitals until marriage. If you do, fine. If you don't, that's fine too.
When the plane landed in Edmonton, Sanfino was arrested in for her PG-13 striptease—not surprisingly, since showcasing your breast implants is considered to be a public disturbance in Canada. This arrest could have been a run-of-the-muck, boring charge of public nudity if the male police officers weren't so damn interested in the condition of Sanfino and Arsenault's genitals.
“So have you had the final sex change surgery? Do you have the original parts down there? Did you get something new?” one of the officers allegedly said. Breaking news is that the Police Code of Conduct has been re-written to include a mandatory interrogation of the sitch down there before continuing with an arrest. It's also necessary to threaten transgenders with time in male prison, where they'd subsequently become “prison ho's.” Thank god for Sanfino, who took this one lightly saying that “all [she] kept thinking is they're threatening [her] with one hell of a good time.”
It's a shame that this awkward police meets crazy transgendered artist interaction wasn't caught on video, since it would've made for an excellent viral. Oh wait, we definitely could have thrown plates at our computer screen if one of the officers didn't delete a recording of the arrest that was taken by Arsenault. She said that police put her in handcuffs and confiscated her phone when she refused to stop the recording. Maybe the officers didn't want to display their unusual curiosity about schlong-removal to their wives.
Should Sanfino have been arrested? I'd say, technically yes, because it's the law. I'd also say that there are lots of laws out there that are excruciatingly dumb and shouldn’t be grounds for what we deem appropriate. But if we're going to follow the law here, these officers need to brush up on their criminal code. There's no law against openly video-taping officers or an arrest, but there is a law saying that any confiscation and deletion of these videos is an infringement of that person's Charter of Rights and is nothing short of stealing.
In the end, Sanfino's nude ta-ta shaking was a hefty disturbance and a really awesome thing. They demystified trans women's bodies to an audience who would otherwise have never had the balls to demystify it themselves. They also exposed some police officers' hidden prejudices with a simple nip slip. I'd put a good amount of money down betting that most of the people who got to see Sanfino's tits are pretty happy they had that weird experience. Fake tits are fake tits, people. Whether they belong to the bitches on Baywatch or the bitches with dongs. We're all the same here.
These ladies are weeeeird, crazy artists. I encourage you to check out their art and their activism. They're the voice of the future of representations of sexual identity, and they're fucking fierce while doing it.